By George Kleban
You’ve been dating for quite a long time now number of months and can’t seem have enough of each other. You feel utterly comfortable with each other and feel like the two of you are a match made in heaven. Communication has in no way been an issue and have your long-term goals aligned. Amazingly, you discover your self pondering critically for the very first time in your life that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life life with. Time passes and you also grow even nearer. The dialogue of marriage is introduced up and happily, a wedding date is set into date. Now what? Is it right to ask your best friend your premarital questions or your mother? Will entering a relationship counseling before the huge day be a solution or will it result in a rift in your seemingly perfect connection? Take a breather and read on.
First of all, no relationship is perfect and if you think yours is then you need to expedite the marriage counseling to broach topics that sometimes couples shy away from. Topics such as having children, spending money, your individual families, your friends, your employment, your living arrangements, religion, political views and more. It’s okay if you have a strong opinion one way or another on one or more topics. The important thing to look for is that you both listen to each other’s opinion and see if you can find some sort of common ground to meet on.
For example, let’s say you want three children and your partner wants one but isn’t sure about more than that. They grew up in a large family and struggled to get everything they had and don’t want that way of life for any children they may bring into the world. Are you willing to compromise on this and say that perhaps one or two children would be fine or is this non-negotiable? Make a list of other premarital questions you might have and determine which ones could be deal breakers. It’s important that you are honest with yourself and with your partner. Talking about these topics is the start of building a solid foundation for your relationship.
Many couples, especially those who do not live together first, go into marriage thinking it will be just like a fairy tale and are devastated when their prince or princess starts acting human. Marriage is not a story, it is hard work. It takes two people who are willing in the very beginning of their relationship to commit to a partnership in good times and in tough times. It takes maturity, when often one of you is not mature enough. It takes patience, when one of you may have a bad temper and no patience. Most of all it takes a lot of love and compromise.
Toss aside any ideas of perfectionism you may be expecting in your partner and add a healthy dose of humor to your relationship. Start and end the day with a conversation and touching, even if it is just a light kiss on the forehead. Keep in contact during the day if possible and talk, talk, talk. Communication, love, commitment and respect are the bricks in the foundation of the best relationships. Promise yourself and your partner that you will always work on keeping that foundation intact and enjoy a nice, long, healthy marriage.
Weddings are a vow for a lifetime of togetherness. Don’t decide on it in an impulse, take Premarital Counseling, it might just be the key to the life you wish for with your loved one.