“I, (…), take you, (…), to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, (or to love, cherish, and obey) till death us do part, according to God’s holy law; and this is my solemn vow.”
It often all begins with:
Sadly, for far too many, it ends in divorce.
Me and Dave had been together for many years before we decided to tie the knot. We have always believed in working hard at our relationship to keep it fresh and once we were married this was especially so as we really did not want to become yet another statistic.
Don’t wait for Valentines Day, each others Birthdays or Christmas to buy each other a present, be spontaneous. The cost of the present should not be of any real concern, but it should be the gesture that counts. Whether you choose to show how much you care with flowers or with some other token, it is sure to be well received.
Don’t wait to go on holiday before you spend quality time together. It could just as easily be spent taking a bath together (don’t always give him the tap end!), going for a walk in the park or going to the cinema. Every couple needs the opportunity to relax in each others company, so make the time for each other. This is especially true if you have children.
This was the day you both announced publicly your marriage. Do something special such as going out for a romantic dinner to mark the occasion.
Always be open and honest with your partner. Honesty is a great foundation for a relationship. A relationship will find it hard to survive if it is based on lies. Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated and you will find the respect will always be there.
Remember that you both had a life prior to getting married. It’s important that you both maintain a degree of independence and you both have the opportunity to meet up socially with your respective friends and just do something without your partner. However, be careful to get the balance right otherwise your partner may end up feeling neglected.
It’s important that you both make an effort on you appearance for each other. By doing so you are signaling to your partner that you want them to still find your attractive. All in all this will make for a healthier sexual and emotionally balanced relationship.
Marriage will never be perfect everyday. All relationships experience ups and downs and its how we deal with it as a couple that will make or break your relationship. Be realistic from the outset and make a commitment to each other that you will try hard to make it work through the good times and the bad.
Recognise that there will be times when you might have got it wrong, and be humble enough to say you are sorry. Not only say you’re sorry but say it with real conviction, otherwise it’s meaningless.
There will be habits your partner has which may irritate you. For many women its men who leave the toilet seat up, for men its women who use their razor to shave their legs. Whatever your gripes bare in might it often cuts both ways, and it’s how you work together to accept each other flaws that makes the difference. (also see number 4!)
Falling into the trap of taking your partner for granted is so very easy to do. Remember marriage is about having an equal partnership. Take a step back every now and again and have a think about whether you take your partner for granted, whether you do your fair share of chores and whether you help out when needed.