By George Kleban
If you are getting ready to get married, it is wise to attend premarital counseling. You’ll find quite a few premarital concerns that need to be dealt with for a healthy relationship, and going through premarital counseling concerns in the presence of a minister or counselor can aid to solve any future troubles that you had not been conscious of. Talking about these before you get married can protect you from of heartache and other problems later on.
During your marriage, there will be many issues that will come up that may be considered small issues that you can easily work out by talking about them. But there are certain issues that not only need to be talked out prior to marriage, but are almost mandatory in order to have a healthy marriage. These questions are what will help you to become one person as a whole, instead of two people who are living separate lives under one roof. Learning to communicate your ideas and make adjustments to your way of living if needed is how you will move your marriage from two individuals to one. The key is that it starts with communication, communication, and more communication when you talk about these particular issues. Here are five of the top premarital questions that need to be discussed before you marry.
One of the biggest issues that comes up during a marriage is whether one person is going to be the breadwinner or are both of you going to work. Adjusting your work schedules may be needed in order to create a healthy marriage environment. Children, parents, and job expectations need to be taken into consideration. Along with your work life, money issues is the cause of more divorces than anything else. Discussing how money and general finance will be handled is critical to your marriage. It is often found that one person in the marriage is better at handling the money and getting the bills paid. That doesn’t mean that you don’t both have a say over what happens to the money or what is paid, but it is better to acknowledge and give control of the handling of money to the person who is better at it.
What you believe and how you practice your spiritual life is critical to the marriage. If you are both of the same faith, you have the opportunity for a stronger marriage as well as a stronger spiritual life together. If you have opposite views on your spiritual life, you need to discuss how you are going to conduct your married life with differing religious views. Again, children and parents should be thought of when discussing this sensitive topic. Not to say it can’t be done, but it does require a lot more communication to keep your marriage strong.
This is another critical issue that needs to be discussed prior to marriage. It is a factor that affects, or will affect, almost everything that you do. Do you both agree on when or if you want children and how they will be raised? Do you agree what you will do if children come along before one or both of you are ready? Will your parents be involved in helping to raise and look after the kids, or will you use a nanny? Raising children is a great joy and can bring a lot of happiness in your home, but they also require that the two of your agree on things like education, discipline, etc.
This may seem like it should not belong in a list of premarital counseling questions, but how the household chores are taken care of is another big issue that causes problems in the home. Many couples overlook this topic, but household chores is the one issue that produces the most emotional buildup and backlash. You need to both understand what each others feelings are concerning this issue and figure out who does what.
Dreams and Goals
Premarital counseling allows you to look into the future a bit and talk about what you want to accomplish in your life, both individually and as a marriage couple. Your future spouse may not even be aware of what your dreams may be and what you want to do. This is an opportunity to learn more about each other and encourage, support, and strengthen your relationship.
Premarital counseling questions are asked so that these topics, and more, are specifically addressed before you actually enter a marriage. While it may not be the absolute key to a perfect marriage, asking questions to your partner is known to be a very common factor for a successful marriage.
Prepare for the most exciting part in a couple’s life – marriage. Go on a Premarital Counseling now.